What follows is a list of made up TV shows, because once all this rubbish is written down, it will leave my mind forever.
- ‘Tache in the Attic – game show where celebrities must be identified in the dark by touching their facial hair.
- Gran Designs – Kevin McCloud personally sponsors a family to live for a year in a house designed by a grandparent who knows nothing of architecture.
- Milkmaid in Chelsea – serial drama in which a country girl wakes up in the city and doesn’t know how she got there. Slowly she rebuilds her life, think Bourne Identity meets Little Bo Peep.
- Wheel or No Wheel – Noel Edmonds hosts a game show where the aim is to guess correctly if people are holding a wheel or not (thanks to Peter Lawrence for that one).
- The Wheel of Soldiers of Fortune – a bit like Wheel of Fortune, but more like knife throwing. You’re in safe hands, the people throwing the knives are paid mercenaries. To keep excitement levels up, the knife-throwers get progressively drunk.
- Pan-orama – Michael Palin takes us on a trip across the world, visiting different cultures and using their pans, large and small, noteworthy and standard.
- Meerkat Manna – a serious look at the religious practices of the creatures from Meerkat Manor.
- Blasterchef – not to be confused with Castorchef, Pastorchef or Plasterchef, Blasterchef contestants get to show off their flair in the kitchen, but only where the food is prepared and cooked using explosives.
- Come Ordain With Me – 4 bishops compete with each other for a week to create the most entertaining ordination ceremony, the winner receiving £1000 after a vote.
- Only Fossil Fuels and Horses – documentary following the attempts of two brothers from Peckham to create a petrol powered horse.
- Bryn’ll Fix It – S4C Show in which Bryn Terfel moves mountains to get Welsh kids what they want, as long as it has something to do with singing, or beards.
Additional made up TV shows welcome, hit the comments people!